UNIZIK'S IFITE ROAD IN A MESS... BY MARTIN BECK NWORAH

As a self acclaimed passionate youth and a student of Nnamdi Azikiwe University, I have the special privilege of enjoying the beautiful road of Ifite Awka that leads to the permanent site of the university. Don’t get me wrong, when I see beautiful things, I’m quick to speak up and commend anyone that made that possible. For instance, two months ago, I was at a conference in Abuja and we were told the President would give the opening remarks. I was so happy and I had to rush back to my hotel room to change into something more beautiful. Three hours into the programme, we didn’t see any President and I rose up my hand to ask; “Please, what type of President are we expecting, is it the one everyone knows or someone else?” Believe me, nobody laughed. It was so beautiful. So back to the Ifite road, I would like to thank the State government, the local government and everyone who made it possible for our road to be this beautiful and well tarred. A journey that would’ve ordinarily taken me 35 minutes to complete now takes up to one hour. It is a good thing and very marvellous in our eyes. Beautiful Ifite road with its drainage system adorned with a yellow sign post. My friend tells me often that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I never really believed him till I fell in love with current state of the Ifite road and thanked God for the sweet dividends of democracy. Is it not beautiful? Common, instead of “wasting” scarce resources to grade, tar and work on the road, my smart administrators hoisted a sign post, poured a few trips of stones and eloped. This is the type of ingenuity that can be found only in Ifite road, Anambra State. Ahhhh, I forgot to tell you that we also have street lights on both sides of the road. Hmm…the road is that beautiful and I’m been serious from the depths of my heart. If you know Emmanuel Lodge, Uchenna Lodge and Winners Chapel at Ifite, then you must’ve beheld the spectacular view of the road at night. It is a beauty to behold and lest I forget, make sure none of your chattel falls into the beautiful road side swimming pool at night, you won’t find it. What about the street lights? Guy nawaoooo…you no get torch? The street lights were meant to show the light during the day and not at night; such a beauty. The technology that was used in the construction of that section of the Ifite road is one that even the white expatriates with our construction companies are still marvelled at. They exclusively told me that in all their years of engineering, they have never seen anything like this and it is awesomely inspiring;a clear roadmap for future road constructions in the state. A view of the beautiful ifite road with the fount of life in-between. You see that pot hole in the picture above “abi”? It contains the water of life on the road. And please stop laughing, that is a road, a proper road by the standard definition of the Ifite road ethics committee of which I am the principal head and sole member. Is the road not well tarred? I’m serious it’s tarred. You can as well bring on your car to test ride but just make sure you have an extra tire and some repair kit. Our beautiful road is a jealous lover and will not let go of you without making an impression on your vehicle. If the love it has for you is so much, it can pack you up or it may render the vehicle impotent…sorry…unfit for proper roads. I was speaking with a high ranking member of my inner caucus few hours before I started gushing on the beauty of this road. He told me that anybody who dares touch this road or plans to reconstruct it is a man with bad intentions and I readily believed him. Why on earth would someone want to repair the Ifite road in all its beauty and splendour? If I’m permitted to utilize my grammatical prowess in Hon. Patrick’s voice; “I will call it an exercise in utter futility and an excessive display of enthusiastic nothingness”. So, let the beauty of that road with that yellow sign be left alone.

Ifite road, Awka.

If you’re conversant with the road rally of Formula 1, then you will agree with me that the Ifite road passed all the criteria required to stage the prestigious race on it. Students have also given credence to this worthy feat by cursing out each time they ply the road. You know the best way to show your love and affection for something is to curse it out. So even when the bikes fall and the cars break down, they’re constantly cursing out and happy that the road is good. And on the authority placed on me as the self acclaimed Chairman of Ranters Association, I nominate the Ifite road for the prestigious prize of the best road in Anambra State. Not awarding this prize to the Ifite road will be viewed as bad will and a direct assault on the will of the people. An ancient Roman Philosopher once posited that ordinary people can hardly understand the extraordinary. Like many other philosophers, I felt he was high on books and lacked sensible things to say. But when I saw the grand edifice of the Ifite road, I readily agreed with him and poured accolades on him for bringing me into the light. Finally, as I finish this and rush back to enjoy the wonderful and beautiful Ifite road, I will plead with you to pay the road a visit and see the beauty I’m talking about. Snap some selfies when you visit and share with others this monumental engineering feat that has been achieved in Ifite road that leads to Nnamdi Azikiwe University and beyond. If you’re a lover of beauty and good things, then you must definitely fall in love with the Ifite road. Lovers will certainly find the road a beautiful site to snap pictures and deepen their affection for each other. For those that purchased new cars a.k.a tear rubbers, you can as well jump on the road and have a nice feel of the tarred road. Your million naira car will certainly enjoy it by packing up in the mechanic’s workshop for as many months as possible. In the meantime, I need to grab me some lunch.